Issues that do. not. matter.

There are three topics which I will mercilessly belittle anyone who disagrees with me on, because we shouldn’t be discussing them in the first place.

1)      Race

2)      Gender

3)      Sexuality

They’re all non-issues that don’t matter. Why? Because as an evolved species capable of compassion, empathy and motherfucking space travel, such base trivial concerns should be a distant memory. What should matter is your inherent decency and your capabilities as a human being. If you like bumming other men, have breasts, or dark skin – that’s fantastic. It’s no different to people who prefer wearing a tie to no tie. Broad scheme of things, none of these encroach on my personal utility nor do they diminish society in whole or in part.

Sorry, I should clarify here – they don’t matter in actual terms. That is, on the purest objective level, race/gender/sexuality are no different to basic sartorial decisions. I get that for reasons usually to do with insecure lowest common denominators – so, under-educated White heterosexual males confused about the gay dream they once had – discrimination happens and we have to try and resolve it. But instead of heaping scorn upon these tiny-penis’d men and their questionable value to society, we decide to instead circle the drain and keep these non-issues on the plate.

It’s just… it’s so breathtakingly stupid that we have to debate something that is so fundamentally benign to our well being! Nobody is actually harmed by a gay, black lesbian in society (just ‘pretend harmed’) so why do we let ourselves give into the base elements and try and debate them into a common sense approach? To all the bigots, misogynists and racists out there; you’re wrong, shut up and piss off.

If I had a genie wish scenario, it’d be for legal impunity for me to take a comically over-sized mallet to the malcontents causing trouble. I could wish for them to develop an intellect or some empathy, but the gratification I’d get after stoving someone’s face in with said mallet is too great to pass up.

I’m happy to make my own sandwich, thank you very much – and do you want one, whilst I’m up?

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